xy5428

           Teachers，I want to tell you...

   Teachers are usually completed(compared) to the sun.And dear Miss Zhu,you like(are like) the sun of(in) my heart.

   Every time,when（every time和when都是连词，所以不能重复使用） I look at you,when（删除） I listen to you carefully, when（删除） I watch you smile,I feel warm.Do you know,your smile is like the flowers in spring,the bird's songs（这个比喻不恰当）.You are so kind and beautiful.

   To be honest,I always felt sleepy in English class in the past.But since you became my English teacher,I think the English class is so interesting.I can watch English plays and take part.And no teachers had sent the New Year's card to our students before you did（on Christmas day）.

   You are not only a teacher,but also like a friend to us.We can say all kinds of things to you.But we must be silent when we get along with some other teachers.So I feel relaxed in your class.

   So，dear teacher,thank you for everything you did.

我的点评：谢谢你能这样赞赏你的英语老师！我喜欢在我的课堂上看到你专注的眼神，我喜欢听你每天甜美的声音喊“stand up”，在我的眼里你是个优秀的学生，在同学的眼里你是无可挑剔的班长，在班主任的眼里你是最得力的助手，我希望你在2011年里还有更加给力的表现！

version 作者：刘易欣

            Teachers，I want to tell you...

   Since we came to the world,our parents have become our teachers.When we are at school,kind teachers teach us a lot of knowledge.With their help,we knew many things like how to study and so on.Teachers,who are greatful(great),kindly teach us.

   Teachers,I want to praise you.Chinese teachers teach us characters,they teach us how to read books,they show us the wonder of Chinese;Maths teachers teach us the beautiful numbers;English teachers teach us foreign cultures and languages,they open up our mind to the outside world;Physic teachers teach us how to slove the problems in our life,like repairing machines by oueselves;Chemistry teachers teach us why a thing change into another thing.And there are many teachers who are kind,warm-hearted and happily teaching us.We all love you,teachers!

   Teachers are like water.They water flowers hard every day.And we are like flowers.Thank you,teachers!

我的点评：你的文章结构很好，对所有的老师都有自己独到的见解，单词拼写准确，表达用词准确到位，语法结构也很不错！看不出平时对事情那么不经意的你竟然有这般的细腻！