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【学生习作之三】老师,我想对您说

Version 2 作者:刘嘉琦

                               Teacher,I want to tell you...

Dear Alex,

To be honest,when I saw this point(应该改成title),I really don't know what can I(I can,因为宾语从句要用陈述语序) say,because,now,(过于口语话,显得不是很正式,删去now)I felt(直接用feel,因为是此时的心情) so lucky that you can help me with my "poor" English,(应该改成句号,这句已经说完)when I was in the(中学前不加the,因为是泛指概念) middle school,my English was not very good but not too bad(既不也不是用neither...nor...),but now it seems different,every time,when(every time和when重复使用,名词短语every time相当于when的作用) I was(am,时态混淆) in trouble,you always help me to solve some problems,you always said(say,时态混淆),A little learning(a 漏了)is dangerous thing,when I was failed(首先fail没有被动,fail后面要加in) exam(exams),you always encourage me,that's why I felt(feel) so lucky and you always also stand by me.

In the(删去) class,you always encouraged(encourage) us (to 漏了)try to speak more,practice more,and now my speaking skills (have 要用完成时)improved a lot.

Although I know"thank you"is not enough,but I really wonder(笔误,应该是want to) say"Thank you"to you.

(Best wishes!漏了信件的祝福格式)

                                                                          

                                                                    Janet

博主点评:我觉得孩子是用真心在写这篇作文,虽然文中有一些时态、拼写错误,固定搭配的不熟悉,用词也有些欠缺,但是假以时日,她的英语作文势必会是一道亮丽的风景,因为在作文中,我看到孩子的学习热情,我体会到了我的付出得到的回报,我感受到了她的感恩的心,比起学习成绩,我更愿意看到我们的孩子尚礼崇德,感谢师恩,感谢父母!

posted on 2011-01-14 21:29 朱虹 阅读(32) 评论(0)  编辑 收藏 引用 网摘 所属分类: 我和我的班


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